Do you know what ‘the good good syndrome’ is? Are you suffering from this syndrome? Maybe we’ve all been a little brainwashed.

The concept of the “good girl brainwash,” was coined by Lisa Carmen Wang, the visionary behind Bad Bitch Empire. It’s all about understanding the subtle societal conditioning that’s influencing us as women and our daughters.

Good Girl Behaviors

Let’s break down these “good girl behaviors” that might be shaping us and our daughters.

• Perfectionism: The relentless pursuit of flawlessness, often leading to unwarranted stress and anxiety.
• Trouble with Setting Boundaries: Difficulties in saying “no” or standing up for themselves, rooted in a tendency to prioritize others’ needs above their own.
• People-Pleasing: The inclination to prioritize others’ happiness at the cost of their own well-being.
• Downplaying Strengths: A reluctance to acknowledge their achievements to avoid making others uncomfortable.
• Obedience: A strict adherence to rules, even when they defy logic.
• Permission-Seeking Behaviors: An incessant need for validation and approval before making decisions, often at the expense of trusting their instincts. 

What About Our Gen Z Daughters?

You know what’s fascinating? Research reveals that our Gen Z daughters seem to have a different take on the “good girl” syndrome. It’s something I’ve personally observed, and it’s rather intriguing. They approach these behaviors in a way that’s quite distinct from what many of us experienced when we were teens. They’ve taken the empowerment torch and are running with it.

I’ve noticed a shift among our teen girls, especially when compared to our own teenage years. They seem to speak up more and appear more educated and aware of women’s rights and societal inequalities.

It’s a remarkable change and part of it is thanks to power of information that our girls have  at their fingertips. But let’s not forget the impact that we had as moms and women. We started this journey, from the feminist movements of the 60s and the 70s and historical moments like the symbolic burning of bras (thank you Babyboomer women) to the increasing number of women in the workforce and pursuing higher education in the generations thereafter. We laid the foundation for this awareness, and now, our daughters are building upon it.

In this new era, Gen Z has grown up with a heightened sense of awareness. They aren’t afraid to question traditional gender roles, challenge societal expectations, and advocate for change. It’s like they’ve taken the lessons we started and elevated them to the next level. This is a testament to the progress we’ve made and the impact it’s had on the generation we’re raising.

So, let’s give ourselves a well-deserved pat on the back, moms. We’ve played a part in shaping this evolving narrative, and our daughters are carrying it forward with confidence and purpose. It’s a wonderful cycle of empowerment that’s worth celebrating.

And if your teen daughter could use a little bit of help in becoming more assertive I’ve got the perfect tool for you and your daughter: 12 common scenarios where assertiveness is key. From dealing with tricky friendships to standing up for herself in relationships, your daughter will learn practical tips and scripts for being assertive without being aggressive. Click on the image to get yours

Our job is still not done

But although we’ve seen some real progress and a breath of fresh air in how our daughters approach life, we still have a long way to go.

I’ve noticed that some Gen Z girls are showing remarkable assertiveness, but let’s not forget that there are plenty of them are still wrestling with those old ‘Good Girl’ tricks. The brainwash is powerful, and their traces still linger.

But it’s not just about them. It’s about us too. Are we still carrying those ‘Good Girl’ desires deep down, even subconsciously?

Let’s turn the spotlight on ourselves and reflect on our own journey. We can’t deny that our generation came of age in a world where the lines of ‘girlhood’ were a bit more rigid. We had these unwritten scripts that told us to be compliant, polite, and modest. I am pretty sure those influences still show up in our daily lives.

Maybe that time at thea meeting when we had a brilliant idea but hesitated to share it, thinking it might ruffle some feathers? Or when you hosted that neighborhood get-together and insisted on everything being just perfect, from the appetizers to the centerpieces? Or the countless times we’ve bitten our tongues instead of speaking up when we knew we had something important to say.

These are the remnants of those ‘Good Girl’ habits showing up in our lives. They’re like those old acquaintances who keep popping up uninvited.

Break free from these gremlins that are holding us back

Our growth is their growth

In the journey from perfectionism to authenticity, one key arena where this transformation plays a profound role is in how we parent our girls.

I truly hope that you know and understand that the path to being a ‘perfect’ parent is not only unrealistic but also unattainable. Instead, let’s embrace our parenting imperfections, acknowledging them openly with our kids. Talk about the tough times, celebrate the small victories, and create genuine connections.

Our transformation is more than personal growth; it’s a model for our daughters. They watch us as we navigate the challenges and joys of life with authenticity. By seeing us stand up for our worth, assert our boundaries, and embrace our true selves, they learn that it’s not only okay to be imperfect, but it’s actually a strength.

We’re planting seeds of empowerment, showing them that they can break free from the ‘Good Girl’ conditioning, just as we have.

As we model these behaviors and foster open, real conversations, we’re lighting the way for them to become strong, confident women who can change the world.